Just to get this out of the way, this is my first single player game review in quite a while so I might be rusty, but worry not, I’ll get back into my awesome, epic shape in no time. Now time to move on to the real deal, the Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 review!
To give you fine folks some background on what we’re dealing here with, the Call of Duty series has been one of the most well-known FPS series out there. Starting with WWII and moving on to the wonderful world of the future, the series seems to have covered all the bases. Invasions from a power hungry Nazi leader? Check! Invasions from power hungry Italian fascists? Check! Cheese? Check!
Despite the long life of the series, I feel that the Call of Duty franchise seems strikingly similar to the Command and Conquer one. Just like Command and Conquer, CoD just doesn’t seem to be able to really shine. C&C had the problem of fighting against one of the biggest names in the field, Blizzard, and their lineup of world famous strategy titles like Warcraft and Starcraft. In a way it seems funny to see Activision push out the Battlefield series in this regard. But alas, that’s history.
The kick off to the Call of Duty: Modern Warfare series was given in the 4th installment of CoD. This time around, the number in the rear (no innuendo implied) wasn’t here to show off the number of the game but rather the game time it would offer to the potential buyer. That’s right folks, how many companies out there even take the TIME to inform their potential sucke… ermm I mean buyers, about what they are about to purchase? If I were to sell canned tigers I sure as hell wouldn’t say it’s a tiger! I mean, that might cost me some sales figures and seeing as my 4th fiscal quarter this year hasn’t been that great, I won’t say to anyone that I’m selling live tigers in cans.
But alas, the producers of Modern Warfare decided to be generous and inform us of the 4 hours of game time the single player campaign would bring to you. After getting charged 60 or so Euros for the game I almost feel like 15 Euros an hour would have bought me better entertainment (if you know what I mean). Like a movie or something you perverts…
Despite the short time it took to finish up the game, there was an advantage to the lack of content and the shitty “Oscar Mike”, “Sit Rep”, “Roger Moore” lines blasted out by the characters. What was that you might ask intrigued? Well, you didn’t end up hating the game like you hate your old dad for leaving you and beating you once too often. Image him taking off earlier! Right? I know.
So the fact that we got ripped off, worked out better in the end and it seems that they’ve decided to apply that lesson to all subsequent titles. No more content, no more storyline yet the same two dimensional cardboard cutout characters. No sense of immersion, repetitive gameplay and a linear development of the plot – we have the recipe for a best seller here boys!
Modern Warfare 3
Just like its predecessors, the latest game of the series comes in yelling at us for being too slow. Stop playing around there! It seems to say… That’s one of the most persistent feelings I had throughout the campaign of the game – you are not playing and you will not have fun. Now stop lagging behind and KETCHUP!
I laughed quietly at that one. Pulp Fiction anyone? No? Ok, I’ll keep going with this then. So the game starts off with the US being invaded for some reason by the Russians. As far as I know, during the course of history, before the disappearance of unicorns, no one actually wanted to invade the US. There was this one time they wanted to nuke it back to the stone age, but the mighty American state would have obviously returned the favor, so let’s move on then.
After a group of elite soldiers stop the invasion (because for some awkward reason the “Red Army” isn’t as qualified as to actually invade a country it seem if their opposition has a Delta Frost, erm, Force, team standing there defending the beach) the action switches to Europe. Unfortunately we here aren’t as lucky and the Germans and French people seem to lose the engagement badly, but the cavalry arrives just in time and… that’s about it in terms of storyline.
Yes I know, there are characters speaking at some points but lines such as “You’re not going to die on me!”, “Stop stealing my sandwiches” and “He talked. They always talk (for we use torture and indirectly imply it into the game)” aren’t exactly Nobel prize material. Some might argue that this is the actual nature of soldiers and that’s how they talk. Really? Just because you saw an episode from Generation Kill, rented out the Blu-Ray remastered version of Full Metal Jacket, I feel that you aren’t exactly qualified to talk about those aspects.
Moving on people! My point is that, the game boasts it’s realism in most commercials and adds, yet it ends up failing miserably as your character seems to be immortal. That basically goes for your team mates as well and as for your enemies, well, let’s just say that you’ll run out of bullets quicker than run out of opponents. This is one of the dumbest things invented by man – infinite respawn. This means that if you don’t push the line forward, you will see yourself charging at them with a knife. Don’t worry, if you get injured at any point, just hide behind a crate and wait for your limbs to grow back.
Not only does this take out any form of strategy, it also takes out the liberty of the player to approach scenarios in a planned out fashion. Because of that, irrespective of the character you control or the part of the world you are fighting in, you will be basically using your face as a bulletproof vest and charge at the enemy lines. Again, if you decide to take initiative at any point in time or use your brain capacity for more than inhaling and exhaling, you will be punished.
Apparently, while I was gone to the toilet, game producers decided that their audiences (me and you fine folks) are retarded and functioning on the same basic principle of photosynthesis. This is because at all times, the game shouts at you “FOLLOW HIM! NO HIM YOU IDIOT! HIIIM! THE ONE WITH THE ARROW OVER HIS HEAD! STAY AT THAT DOOR! NOT THAT DOOR! THE OTHER ONE! THE LESS GREY ONE! THERE YOU GO YOU BLIDDERING IDIOT, YOU DIED! HOW CAN YOU DIE!??! WE MADE YOU IMMORTAL TROLOLOLOLO”… they seem to say through the screen.
This not only takes away from any form of replay value, but also ends up on making the single player campaign a series of charges at designated spots on the map. No creativity, metal capacity, imagination or brain power required. Just a steady (somewhat) hand and a high tolerance for verbal abuse. If you have those, you will be enjoying this game beyond your wildest dreams.
For those still looking to be entertained by games, I’m afraid there are some grim news incoming.
Modern Warface 3.0
Like any self-important prick out there with an internet connection, a keyboard and a headset I decided to make fun of the game while pouring myself another drink and deciding if I shall use my Liger for tomorrows Battle Royal… Just like any other idiot online I must say that the game doesn’t make it hard to be critical about it. The story is inexistent, the characters are easily forgettable and there is no sense of immersion (partly because someone is screaming at you at every point in the game). You have no option to choose your own path and if you do, you are being punished severely.
As such, during a beach assault I found myself running towards some rocks. At that point some annoying voice is telling me that I should use tanks as cover. Ok sir, I’ve been following orders and that’s why I pay for games – so that instead of people screaming at me in real life, they scream at me within a game. So I go ahead and start looking for a tank nearby, yet my fatal mistake, the one caused by my keen eyesight (OH HUBRIS!) was that I wasn’t following the guy with the arrow over his head. So I get shot down. By an AK. Through an M1A Abrahams tank. Thank you realism. You are very… realistic.
Modern Art 3
The game looks pretty well and it uses every opportunity it has to show off huge buildings getting crushed and transformer into rubble, characters flying through the air as a 105mm shell hits them, yet that’s the only nice aspect about that. Even the “oh so beautiful” engine seems to fail at times since even during the filming of the video review I found myself stuck at some point underneath a small rod. Despite my easy escape I was smashing my keyboard and mouse frantically trying to get out.
The sounds… well, if you don’t mind someone screaming at you for 5 hours, then you will enjoy the sound effects in the game.
Modern Murder 4.0?
Despite all its flaws there was one which annoyed me the most. As soon as I’ve started up the game, I get a warning that there is a scene in the game which might be considered offensive and if I want I can skip the scene. Like any anti-social maniac with plans of becoming hegemon one day, I didn’t skip it. To my great amazement, Modern Warfare is using uncensored, full blown senseless violence to shock their audiences. I don’t say I was shocked (the last time I was shocked about a pixel was when playing Wolfenstein 3D and I was 6…) as in scared or offended, but I was shocked to see that they would be reduced to using such cheap tactics to show us how BAD terrorism is and how GOOD war is.
Really? I mean, I feel sorry for the victims and close ones to those who fell under a terrorist attack, but this is just plain stupid. It insults not only those real occasions this has happened but also works as a cheap attempt at making the player care, making the player think that his cyber genocide is somehow justified. The even scarier part is that it works. I might be old-school, but back in the day, they had this thing called storyline and character development, which made you care about those polygons running around on the screen. Yet nowadays, with an invasion of reality shows, shock sites and who knows what else, I think that even our sacred playground, gaming, won’t be left untouched.
My vote – skip this one. Unless for some reason you enjoy getting yelled at in the multiplayer as well. Also, check out the video review for some more rants but some ingame footage!
You can check out all the images and some more at Imageshack HERE.
NEXT UP – Need for Speed: The Run – When you run out of cars you run! (or something like that)